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kafka.

The Longest Thread in Your Art

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making electronic music in a daw is ridiculously cheap these days with torrents but as soon as you start buying real instruments it gets real expansive real quick

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anyone know what it means when a pedal makes like, a crazy digital-sounding squealing noise? i bought a first gen whammy when i saw it at like half of what they usually go for, and it worked fine for a few months, but last time i used it it suddenly started doing that. it appears to happen when the connection between the pedal and power supply gets nudged. the power connection is clearly being cut but i haven't heard another pedal do that when the power gets cut. not having much luck finding anything about it on google.

 

between this and the problems i've had with the tele i bought, i don't think i'll be buying used gear anymore.

 

whammys can be pretty fucked, honestly.  the only pedal i've ever actually had to replace, and even then the replacement stopped working as well

in this case though you should try a different power adapter, just make sure it's the right wattage & whatnot

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why's that, too many bands? not enough audience? both?

 

I'm heading out to the Silverlake Lounge open mic this Sunday to see if I fit in with the LA hipsters. Or at the least, if they'll clap at my song(s). It's the first time I've tried an open mic in LA. I'll be playing Earwig's Your Friends. If I get a second song, I'll play one of my own called East Los Angeles. 

 

the songs I keep playing at home are those two and:

 

Tallahassee (Mountain Goats)

some new song of mine that's kinda new age-y. might call it Sudden Moment of Clarity. maybe I'll post a youtube of it some day.

Fake Plastic Trees, a really sedated, lower-register version

Wish You Here, on ukulele

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why's that, too many bands? not enough audience? both?

 

 

too much $$$ for all of them. There really isn't anything in between DIY warehouse venues and ones that proper touring bands can play at. Fairly confident my band could pull 200+ people on a Saturday with the right bill, but there just isn't anywhere to do it at. Obviously weeknights are a possibility, but then you have less people come out usually. Frustrating, because we just sold out one of the more popular DIY venues that holds around 150 people, but there's not really anywhere to take that next step.

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sounds like touring is your next step, but I don't really know anything about that. good luck with it.

 

skipping the open mic tonight. the person I was going to go with had to bail, and being a loner doesn't sound like a good night. but I'll see what LA hipster bars are all about in a couple weeks.

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im very scared to make music right now. this is gonna be hard to explain cus im an ex isolated illiterate so i dont know words and have lost my sense of existing to the point my hobbies being screaming and making and erasing serial killer posts on a radiohead forum. but i want my art to be good. i care a lot which isnt a good sign already. i dont want it to sound cool or pleasing or perfectly uglypleasing i want it to be Good like an angel. already this isnt going well and i really doubt i could possibly make an album that doesnt center around my own self interest or my story /memories or all my stupid feelings. i dont know how to create in the interests of everything else, not even like other humans similar relatable blahthings they carry. i mean like, i already said in the what are you reading thread about before me is this and after me is this, so theres this great big debate on whether the purpose of your living is to morph the this u r right this moment perceiving, to sort of change what the this before and after you mean....see i dont wanna make the music for that(thisthis). i mean not for my morphing and journey, i wanna make the music for what i felt outside of myself. i know it was a vision but i dont let the state of things make me feel theyre less real, i for one second of my life convinced myself that i wasnt me i was nothing and i want to make music for the nothing, or people like to call it everything, the collective, for human and beyond kind blahblahlcl. most likely ill just make my story though in an effort to find people who relate to it, so ill relate directly to them and feel false belonging. like really i want to make music for the belonging i can not see or feel or think. i cant reach it so how the hell do i make art for it, through some kind of sacrifice, offering, prayer? pure honesty? or am i being too unrealistic, most humans arent artists and theyre definitely not gods..?but this feels like my life purpose so, fuck, i hate God and God can suck my little dick

 

is it ok to live a fake life? what about a fake life thats motivated by spreading what you genuinely think is genuine? spreading what u doubt to be genuine? i duno, again i already said this, that i read a book and real quick it was clear im not an artist. but what if u feel ur life purpose is to be an artist, even though u also know thats impossible? just say fuck it and do it anyway?

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Fuck it and do it anyways

 

I don't even know what genuine means. People talking about keeping it real and being yourself but I'm pretty sure everyone is just a mix of anxiety and who they would like to be anyway

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For real though sometimes you gotta just dig deep. Just say how you feel and make it rhyme. Some songs I find so emotionally exhausting to write and I'll feel happy when I start and depressed to fuck when I'm done coz I've pulled all this shit out like a plunger, but I'll have an alright song that I'll never want to show anyone by the end

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im very scared to make music right now. this is gonna be hard to explain cus im an ex isolated illiterate so i dont know words and have lost my sense of existing to the point my hobbies being screaming and making and erasing serial killer posts on a radiohead forum. but i want my art to be good. i care a lot which isnt a good sign already. i dont want it to sound cool or pleasing or perfectly uglypleasing i want it to be Good like an angel. already this isnt going well and i really doubt i could possibly make an album that doesnt center around my own self interest or my story /memories or all my stupid feelings. i dont know how to create in the interests of everything else, not even like other humans similar relatable blahthings they carry. i mean like, i already said in the what are you reading thread about before me is this and after me is this, so theres this great big debate on whether the purpose of your living is to morph the this u r right this moment perceiving, to sort of change what the this before and after you mean....see i dont wanna make the music for that(thisthis). i mean not for my morphing and journey, i wanna make the music for what i felt outside of myself. i know it was a vision but i dont let the state of things make me feel theyre less real, i for one second of my life convinced myself that i wasnt me i was nothing and i want to make music for the nothing, or people like to call it everything, the collective, for human and beyond kind blahblahlcl. most likely ill just make my story though in an effort to find people who relate to it, so ill relate directly to them and feel false belonging. like really i want to make music for the belonging i can not see or feel or think. i cant reach it so how the hell do i make art for it, through some kind of sacrifice, offering, prayer? pure honesty? or am i being too unrealistic, most humans arent artists and theyre definitely not gods..?but this feels like my life purpose so, fuck, i hate God and God can suck my little dick

 

is it ok to live a fake life? what about a fake life thats motivated by spreading what you genuinely think is genuine? spreading what u doubt to be genuine? i duno, again i already said this, that i read a book and real quick it was clear im not an artist. but what if u feel ur life purpose is to be an artist, even though u also know thats impossible? just say fuck it and do it anyway?

Your struggle reminds me of this short story I'm reading right now "Good Old Neon" by david foster wallace. Want to read it with me? I'm only a third of the way throughbut it's not that long

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thanks guys c: i worry a lot about what im creating having too much self, but im not sure. i guess just practice being with others and earth and itll come naturally if u play w a open heart

 

thats very sweet cartwheels, are u reading a physical copy? ill look up a pdf

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