(2:51:18 PM) allow: why do you keep asking me to interview you?
(2:51:31 PM) Thomas J: because i want you to interview me :-(
(2:51:37 PM) allow: okay good answer
(2:51:39 PM) allow: next question
(2:51:45 PM) Thomas J: go for it
(2:51:51 PM) allow: what is your name/age/location
(2:52:04 PM) Thomas J: thomas 20 plymouth
(2:52:21 PM) Thomas J: what is yours?
(2:52:44 PM) allow: that is rude
(2:52:51 PM) Thomas J: how so?
(2:52:52 PM) allow: you would not ask barbara walters what her name was
(2:52:55 PM) allow: you just know
(2:53:04 PM) Thomas J: that's because i know barbara walters
(2:53:06 PM) Thomas J: name
(2:53:08 PM) Thomas J: but i don't know yours
(2:53:20 PM) allow: i am barbara walters
(2:53:23 PM) allow: now can we continue?
(2:53:31 PM) Thomas J: by all means
(2:53:41 PM) allow: thanks thomas do you have any pets?
(2:54:22 PM) Thomas J: well, at home in kent i have two cats, one is ginger and called tango, the other is a tortoiseshell called venus, who went crazy a few years ago and ate her own tail.
(2:55:35 PM) allow: what the hell?
(2:55:44 PM) allow: did you ever follow up with a vet?
(2:55:56 PM) allow: it is not average for pets to go insane is it?
(2:56:37 PM) Thomas J: yeah we took her to a vent, she didn't eat all of it, just most of it, the rest was amputated. the thing with tails is that they can reach around those cones
(2:56:50 PM) Thomas J: it's a pretty weird thing for a cat to do
(2:58:07 PM) allow: is the cup half empty or half full?
(2:58:51 PM) Thomas J: i'd say half full, but that's not necessarily an optimist thing, it's just that i look at it from the bottom upwards. saying it's half empty just sounds fucking weird
(3:01:06 PM) allow: it is a bit of a tricky question because what if there is a hole in the cup? it could go either way.
(3:01:37 PM) allow: seeing as you live in two places i am going to guess that you are in school so tell us about that
(3:01:40 PM) Thomas J: well if there's a hole in the cup then that's a reason to be pessimistic
(3:02:09 PM) allow: but having anything in the cup at all is worth being optimistic about is it not?
(3:02:19 PM) Thomas J: i'm going to the university of plymouth. i'm doing media arts, it's cool because it's like an art course except when i come out of it i hopefully won't be this tortured artist type
(3:02:25 PM) Thomas J: it depends what it is really
(3:03:31 PM) allow: water
(3:03:53 PM) Thomas J: well, if you're in a desert then i guess it's good, but if it's all spilling out then you're kind of fucked
(3:04:26 PM) allow: guinness
(3:04:57 PM) Thomas J: don't like it
(3:05:05 PM) Thomas J: plus, apparently it makes your poo turn black, like oil
(3:06:08 PM) allow: so do not show people your poo after drinking guinness
(3:06:16 PM) allow: what is it like being an art student?
(3:06:21 PM) Thomas J: well, it's kind of frowned upon to show people your poo anyway
(3:06:55 PM) allow: my uncle likes to take pictures of it and put it on the fridge
(3:07:11 PM) Thomas J: it's easy and hard at the same time, i mean, all the theories and stuff is easy, and the workload isn't too big, but you second guess yourself all the time, you've always got to think of good ideas and then once you're done with the work you worry that it's actually a shit idea
(3:07:47 PM) allow: do you ever ask your friends to look at stuff to get a second opinion?
(3:08:27 PM) Thomas J: nah, they're all morons really, and i don't really know that many people on my course. from the looks of it, no-one knows each other on my course.
(3:10:18 PM) allow: maybe they just act stupid so you will not ask them to approve of your work because you are an arrogant shithead
(3:10:43 PM) allow: and you put LSD in the catfood
(3:11:21 PM) Thomas J: maybe, but i didn't put lsd in the catfood
(3:11:57 PM) allow: you are pretty good
(3:12:05 PM) Thomas J: at what?
(3:12:19 PM) allow: stop asking me questions jesus fucking christ
(3:12:33 PM) Thomas J: well then start asking me questions
(3:12:43 PM) allow: fine here is one why are you acting so evasive?
(3:14:01 PM) Thomas J: i don't really think i am being evasive
(3:14:14 PM) Thomas J: most of my answers have been pretty detailed
(3:15:13 PM) allow: did you put LSD in the catfood?
(3:15:26 PM) Thomas J: i did not put lsd in the catfood
(3:15:43 PM) Thomas J: my guess is either that my cat ate her tail for emotional reasons, or someone else put lsd in the catfood
(3:15:46 PM) allow: did your parents believe you?
(3:16:21 PM) Thomas J: they didn't ask
(3:17:07 PM) allow: how is your diet?
(3:17:27 PM) Thomas J: it varies, i try to eat healthy, and sometimes i do
(3:17:36 PM) Thomas J: but a lot of the time it's just easier to eat badly
(3:18:02 PM) Thomas J: plus i generally tend to not be in the house at lunch time, so i'll eat fast food, or one of them little plastic pots of pasta salad
(3:18:18 PM) Thomas J: i had a big steak for dinner last night
(3:18:25 PM) Thomas J: with potato waffles and vegetables
(3:18:55 PM) allow: you lying piece of shit you can not care about animals if you eat them
(3:19:03 PM) allow: did you put LSD in the catfood?
(3:19:10 PM) Thomas J: i like domesticated animals
(3:19:17 PM) Thomas J: i don't get the whole eating rabbits thing
(3:19:22 PM) Thomas J: rabbits are cute
(3:19:33 PM) allow: DID YOU PUT LSD IN THE CATFOOD?
(3:19:37 PM) Thomas J: cows are big and ugly and good for nothing except eating and drink their milk
(3:19:39 PM) Thomas J: no i didn't
(3:20:11 PM) allow: fine i am not here to judge
(3:20:16 PM) allow: next question
(3:20:29 PM) Thomas J: go for it
(3:20:34 PM) allow: have you ever got poo on your hands because the tissue paper is too thin?
(3:21:13 PM) Thomas J: not to my recollection, but i've done a lot of poos in my time, so there's a pretty good chance it's happened at least once
(3:21:57 PM) allow: remember that this is an interview everyone is going to read so try to be tactful
(3:22:05 PM) allow: next time use a euphemism
(3:22:26 PM) Thomas J: i'm content with my answers so far
(3:23:11 PM) allow: what worries you about the world thomas?