Lady: Excuse me, is the shop still open?
Security guard: Why didn't you get here earlier?
Lady: um... Er... Sorry, it's just I was busy and forgot I ran out of...
Security guard: we've been open all day.
Lady: oh. Well... I know, it's just... I've been busy, you see. Is it still open?
Security guard: the shop closes at 10 and you turn up at five-to-ten. You should have been here earlier shouldn't you?
Lady: er... er... I'm sorry. I'll go...
Security guard: you got two minutes.
Lady: excuse me?
Security guard: *mutters curse under breath* TWO M-I-N-U-T-E-S!
Onlooker: Oi. What's ya focking problem pal?
Security guard: what!?
Onlooker: you on some kind of power trip? A lady asks ye a question and ya act like a focking cont. Am a focking stab ya.
Security guard: piss off.
*Onlooker leaps on security guard and stabs him multiple times. Then he removes the security guards head and begins to remove the skin. He slaps bits of it on to his own face and mimicks the security guard and all his stupid, ignorant ways*
The other onlookers and the lady: hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha hahahaha. Hip, hip, hooray!
Onlooker: Madam, the answer to your question is..
*Shutters pull down and the shop closes*